Embracer of the Weird

Okay. I keep saying I'm not a very professional professional. This is exactly what I'm talking about right here.

When I said on the main "Hire Me" page that you could hire me for almost anything, I mean it. Really.

Which is why I created this category. You want to book time with me to shoot the breeze? Or to learn how to throw spaghetti at the wall? Or to discuss whether or not mothman is bisexual? I'm your guy.

At this point, you're just booking my time. Which is why I have a way you can do exactly that! Book an "Embrace the Weird" session

(If you need to pay a different way or have another idea, send me an email at hireme@simonbeans.com).

**Note**: I am not a sex worker. This is not for sex work. Any attempts to make this sex work will result in me keeping your money and you not getting any time.